| 1) I'm playing around on Facebook right now and the two ads on the side are cracking me up! Currently they are an ad for Vodka and an ad for inspiring 8 - 12 year old boys. Love it! The combination is priceless. 2) I'm listening to David Crowder's version of How He Loves. I love this song. I've talked before about my love for John Mark McMillan, but God's timing is something that will never stop amazing me. I stumbled upon John Mark McMillan at a seriously low point in my life and God reached out and grabbed me through his lyrics. I will always love this song. I even love the slight rewrite David Crowder and band did. It's all good. I also seriously love the visual picture of God being like a hurricane. It's violent, but there's still a kind of method to the chaos. Peace pervades, I guess. 3) I had another example of the timing of the Lord in my life about two weeks ago. It was the first Thursday of the student awakening meetings, before anyone truly knew they were going to take off. I was out with the students, enjoying worship and they had an altar call, and I actually went up for it (which I never do). And this girl was praying for me, and at first, I was like, what you're praying is great, but not totally relevant. And then she said it - something I've heard a million times before, in a million different sermons. But it hit it's target this time. My heart was open and received it, and something clicked, and I got it. The particulars of the situation aren't that important (as I get older, I'm beginning to realize that an online journal isn't necessarily the best place to share things like that); it could have been any number of things. But none of the times I heard this particular things before were wasted. They were all preparing me for the time when I would hear it, believe it, understand it, and begin to live it. God is so kind. And He's never disappointed when He tells me something and I don't get it. He's ecstatic that I am one step closer to getting it and living it. He is truly kind. 4) Facebook has this new thing called SocialInterview. It's kind of fun - I skip most of the questions, because usually it asks questions about people I don't talk to much on Facebook. One of the questions it has been asking recently is, "If you had to live one year over again, which would you choose?" Kind of a difficult question, in some respects, but I really believe I would choose this year. It's been the hardest year I've had, except for possibly the year after I graduated from college, but I have grown so much and I love Him more than I ever thought I could. He's awakened my heart to new levels of intimacy and trust in Him. I know that His plans for me are good. Really good. Because He is kind. And He loves me. He is enough for me. 5) I'm reading Leslie Ludy's new book, Sacred Singleness. I pretty much love the Ludy's books (Eric and Leslie). They take such an awesome view on singleness. I was reading in the prayer room last night and actually found out that some Christian authors don't believe that singleness is from the Lord!!! I was shocked. (This is NOT what the Ludy's believe - she was discussing this fact and stating Biblical proof against it. I love, too, that she didn't explicitly tell you who or which book is putting forth these beliefs, but she put them in the footnotes, so you'd know, and also because she quoted from them.) It's hard enough to be a single in the Christian world (EVERYONE wants you to 'put yourself out there' or thinks you aren't trying hard enough to 'land a man'.) I know they are well meaning, and I totally get where they are coming from. But I don't think it's my job to land a man. I'm not so opposed to putting myself out there, as I think that is just good policy, not for catching a guy, but just to make sure you are in community and stretching yourself and stuff. I believe I could live a hermit lifestyle and God would still have the ability to bring His guy into my life. If I was living as a hermit, I'm not sure He'd do it, unless He called me to the hermit lifestyle, cause we aren't called to put our life on hold until said guy comes along. I believe that is actually the incredibly wrong thing to do. God has specific seasons mandated for us, and specific things we are to be doing in those seasons. And whether a guy ever comes along for you, or not, you can still be used by God. In extremely profound ways. It's not about whether you have a guy or not, it's about how much you love Jesus and allowing Him to be enough. And not just saying that He's enough, but believing it and allowing intimacy to grow between the two of you. I think we do ourselves, and Him, a great disservice when we become fixated on having a mate. I'm not through reading this book, but can honestly say, I recommend this, and any other book they've written. I think my favorite is The Bravehearted Gospel by Eric Ludy. 6) I have a husband journal. It's true. What is a husband journal, you ask? It's a journal where I write letters to my husband. This may seem a little strange to those of you who know that I am single. And I actually really enjoy being single. But I'm not going to lie and say that it's always easy or nice to be single. Sometimes it's really hard and lonely. I want to say especially in the community where I live, where everyone is 23 and married, but I know it's hard everywhere. I started this journal a couple of weeks after my birthday, this past year - so I've had it almost a year, I guess 10 months. I've only written in it a handful of time, but it helps. When I feel lonely, or like he's never going to show up, I write to him. (Almost always after having written/ talked to God about it :)). It's really helped, AND been a great reminder to be praying for him, wherever he is. I was reading through it the other night, and it made me smile, so I thought I'd share an excerpt, or two. "I'm missing you a lot right now. I went to see a movie with some friends and I loved th movie, but started crying in the middle of it because today was one of those days when it felt like you might never show up. I'm so tired of waiting today. It makes me laugh a little that today I would feel that way because a couple days ago in the prayer room, I was telling Jesus that if you never came along I would be okay. And I totally stand by that, but the aching in my heart is quite profound tonight. Where are you? I'm only 25 so part of me knows the wait hasn'ta ctually been that long, but today it feels eternal. But I trust God's timing. And I thoughta bout that fact while I was sitting in the theater. No matter how long I have tow ait for you, the wait will be worth it. Every second. I pray you are holding on to that reality tonight in a death grip as strong as mine." "Today is another one of those days when I'm wondering where the heck you are. I was thinking about it a lot on my way to the prayer room this morning... I was reminded again of how worth it the wait will be. I actually imagined myself at our wedding (maybe our rehearsal dinner cause I was making a toast to you). I couldn't see you in my imaginings, of oucrse, but I was telling you that you were wroth the wait. Every year, every month, every day - the entire time was wroth the wait. I would do it all over agian if it meant I got to have you at the end.... today, in the car, as I was about to turn into the prayer room parking lot, I literally thought, "Even if I have to wait another 26 years (or more), it will be worth it, in the end.' God is merciful and gracious, loving and kind. His arms will hold us and sustain us, even after we meet each other, and even after we realize what we are to one another. And He's holding us now, in the waiting. Take heart, my love, it will not always feel like this."" It's funny how reading your own stuff can bolster your heart. |
